Mirror, Mirror on The Wall

Don't look now, but this is my THIRD day in a row writing on my blog.  Say what!?  I probably shouldn't say anything...I may jinx myself. ;)  Today also makes it my second day of my no sugar journey.

It really hasn't been hard, though it never is when there are no temptations. ;)  When I get around temptations, it may be a different story.  But, I think I may be surprised at how easy it will be.

Yesterday I went with my cute sisters-in-law to watch my youngest sister-in-law pick out her wedding dress.  It is always so fun to hang out with the girls!  I am so blessed to have married into such a wonderful family!  I love them all so much.  

While at the bridal store, there were mirrors, of course.  Big mirrors.  And I sat right in front of one.  Not a good idea.  I couldn't help but just stare at myself...in disgust.  I tried to keep my eyes averted so I didn't see myself, but it was hard.  The thing that kept running through my mind was, good thing you are trying to lose weight.  That image is burned in my memory and I just can't believe how big I have gotten.  Because this image is burned in my mind, it makes me that much more determined to lose weight.

This is a struggle I have had all my life.  I have ALWAYS struggled with body image. Even the times I thought I was "fat," I was skinny!  I am so blessed to have Casey as my husband.  He is so good at telling me I am beautiful and getting after me when I am not so nice to myself.  He lovingly reminds me that I need to really pay attention to how I look at myself in the mirror and how I talk about myself.  And I am trying...really, really trying.  I do not want my sweet Lilli (or any of my kids) to grow up having the same body image complex as I have always had.  I want her to look in the mirror and see a beautiful, confident girl no matter her shape or size.  I want her to know that no matter her weight, she is beautiful and wonderful and capable of anything she puts her mind to.  However, she needs her mommy to teach her that.  I never want to see her look in the mirror in disgust as I have often done, or say anything about her body as I have said about mine. So I am trying.  I am consciously trying to not say anything about about my body, unless it is positive.  I also am consciously trying not to have a look of disgust when I see my reflection in the mirror. It most definitely takes serious effort.

I am slowly getting there. It has taken a loving husband and three years to get where I am today, and I still have a long way to go!  But I know I will get there!  I am just so grateful to Casey who has boosted my self-image and my confidence in ways I know no one could have done but him.  He truly is the best!  I love him more and more every single day.  Heavenly Father truly knew I needed Casey.