He Thought of Me In The Garden of Gethsemane

Yeah, oops! It's been awhile since I have written.  I will be honest, I sort of haven't wanted to because I think, no one reads it...so why bother?  Oh-well.  It's a good outlet for me and something I enjoy.  So I guess if nothing else, it's for me. :)

So I have fallen off the "no sugar" wagon.  Whenever Aunt Flow decides to visit every. single. month (can you tell I don't like her?), I tend to want to eat...SUGAR!!!!  It's awful and I have zero self control.  None.  But I am determined to get back on track.  After Aunt Flow is finished visiting.  Which, coincidentally, happens to be going on right now. :P

I have mentioned before that I really don't like what I see in the mirror.  I like from the neck up...that part is ok, but not the rest.  It's sad to say, but it's true.  I have THE most amazing husband I could EVER ask for.  He is so wonderful in so many ways, but one of those ways is he always tells me I am beautiful.  He is so sincere and true and desires more than anything for me to see what he sees.  I love him for that.  And I know that is why I was blessed with my dear, sweet Casey.  He helps in so many ways, he will never know.  He means the world to me!

I am working on it and one day will be there!  I just don't want my darling girl (and any other girls we may have) to ever view her body the way I have always viewed mine.  It's not fun, nor is it fair.  I want her to be confident in her own skin, to be happy to be who she is no matter her size!!!  But she won't be able to really do that unless she has a mommy to show her how to do so.  And I not only need to do that for her, but for me!

I know I can do anything with the help of my loving Heavenly Father and dear Savior.  Isn't that what the Atonement is all about anyway?  To help us overcome our trials and shortcomings?  This has been a real struggle all my life.  But I know that only through the Atonement of my Savior that I can overcome this.  Thank heaven for our beautiful Savior's sacrifice.  I have a very strong testimony of the Atonement.  I know it is real.  I know that it is powerful.  I know Jesus Christ knows me, He knows every single pain and sorrow I have ever experienced and ever will experience, because He himself experienced it.  I know He thought of me, little ol' me, as He bled from every pore.  I wasn't just a passing thought.  He really, really thought of me.  This is something I have come to know, without a single, solitary doubt.  I don't comprehend how He did it, but I don't need to.  I just know, through the witness of the Holy Ghost, that He did.  And I know He did it for every single person.  You, too, were not just a passing thought.

Being Mama

I love my little family! I have been thinking a lot about family lately and how blessed I am to be a mama.  I have dreamed of being a mommy all my life, ever since I was little.  I know why, too.  I had the best example of a mother.  She made it look beautiful and wonderful.  I always watched my mom and looked up to her.  She is the reason I always wanted to be a mommy.

My mom was a good example of love, service, kindness, patience, gentleness and I could go on and on.  She was a good homemaker. I loved watching her sew, cook and bake.  There was just something about the way she did things that made me want that when I grew up.  Anyone who asked what I wanted to be when I grew up would get the answer, "A mommy" (aside from the time I wanted so badly to be a "jeeter" a.k.a. a cashier....I was a weird kid, okay? :P)

I loved to help her bake.  We would make cookies and watch them bake and she would read me books while we waited for the cookies to bake.  This made a beautiful impression on me.  It is something that always sticks out in my mind when I think of memories with my mama.  It was special to me.  It was time with just me and my mom.

I don't think I can ever recall a time when I heard her yell.  I am sure she raised her voice at times, but what I remember of her was she was calm and patient and most of all soft spoken and gentle. (She still is).  I want to be like that.

What will my kids remember of me when they look back on their childhood?  I would hope they would have the same memories of me as I have of my mom.

Boy do I try!! I try so hard to be patient and loving and most of all gentle.  No one responds well to yelling. No one.  Kids especially.  I try to always get down to Lilli's level and speak to her calmly and gently.  I most certainly get frustrated and often speak louder than I should and snap at silly things, but I am sure trying not to.

I thank my loving Heavenly Father for blessing me with a wonderful example as a mother!  She has taught me so much and continues to.  I am also very grateful to my Heavenly Father for blessing my to be a mom.  There was a time I truly felt as though marriage wasn't in the cards for me, let alone motherhood.  I thought that the only "mothering" I would do would be to my nieces and nephews and  the children of others.  He just knew I needed to wait for my very special husband who is absolutely right for me!  He is special and perfect for me and I love him with all my heart.  And what I am especially grateful for is that he made me a mama.

I couldn't be more grateful for the two sweet kids I have.  Aside from each other, they are mine and Casey's whole world.  They are so special and we both feel so incredibly blessed to call them ours.  More will come one day, and we will have that much more joy.  I pray every day that Heavenly Father will truly bless me with the attributes my kids need from me and most of all, for patience and love and a gentle, soft-spoken demeanor like my sweet mama.  That is what will stay with them most.

You Could Win A Million Dollars!

You could win a million dollars!  Well, you could! But not here.  I just wanted to make you interested in reading my blog.  Did it work? ;)

So before I get to my main point of my post, I had a few little things to write.  First off, Casey asked me the other day how many "followers" I had on here.  I laughed and said, uh probably zero. So, if you have been following my posts, thanks! You are probably the only one. ;)

Second, it's been two weeks since I have started my no sugar journey! I am happy to announce I have held strong! I am so proud of myself!  Last weekend we made a quick trip to Bear Lake with Casey's family, and since it was raining, we hung out at our sister-in-law's parent's condo.  There were some yummy treats and cake but I refrained.  It is getting easier and easier to refrain.  And on the upside, I weighed myself this morning and I have lost 4 lbs. so far! Yay!!

Now, to my main post.  This morning I watched this video ---> (http://ldsliving.com/story/76653-dont-be-the-perfect-mother-be-the-mom-your-kids-need) about being the mom YOUR kids need you to be.  It really pulled at my heartstrings.  The things she said were things I have thought soooo many times! I am quite often comparing myself with other moms. This mom goes alllll out for holidays and does awesome things for her kids.  Another mom is super mom and does crafts and has every talent you can think of.  That mom is kind and patient and never yells.  Why can't I be that mom!?

After watching that video it got me thinking...what kind of mom am I?  I only have two kids...and they are still little.  So I am still sort of a rookie mommy.  However, I am still a mom, and I still compare my mothering to others.
So I thought....
I am the kind of mom who likes to have fun and be silly with my kids.
I am the kind of mom who loves make-up and hair and nail polish and all things girly.
I am the kind of mom who tries to be patient with big and little things.
I am the kind of mom who is compassionate, sensitive and loving...with tender feelings towards other's feelings.
I am the kind of mom who loves the Gospel of Jesus Christ with all my heart and longs for my children to gain a firm testimony one day.
I am the kind of mom who lets my two year old watch Fisher Price on my phone while we shop to keep her entertained.
I am the kind of mom who is ok with my two year old watching TV during the day.  And yes, even as a babysitter while I get things done, like writing on my blog. ;)
I am the kind of mom who limits the amount of TV my two year old watches during the day. ;) (I had to add that in there so ya'll didn't think I just let her watch TV all day.
I am the kind of mom who loves to give hugs and kisses (like crazy) and say I love you lots and lots.
I am the kind of mom who loves to sing songs to my kids at bedtime.
I am the kind of mom who loves to tickle my kids until they laugh super hard.
However....
I am not the mom who is a super gifted crafter, photographer, sewer, etc.  And that is where I have problems.  I hear of mom friends who are the super mom types.  The ones who do EV.ER.Y.THING.  And my whole list up there just gets lost in all the comparisons because I am not THAT mom.  I then conclude I must be a crap mom because I don't do everything.  But I love, love, love what the lady said on the video.  You are the mom your kids need you to be, and Heavenly Father sent them to you.  If he wanted them to go to the super-awesome-does-everything mom, He would have.  But he sent them to me, because He knew I would be right for them.  That is a lesson I must learn...over and over and over again.

For now, I must just be the best mom my kids need; to be the kind of mom I am and truly try to be. And most of all...be not only okay with that, but happy about it.  And that needs to be good enough! :)

What kind of mom are you or what kind do you want to be?

We. Are. Faaaamily. (I am singing that...did you hear?)

Last night we were able to go to the Ogden Temple Open house with my Loock family.  It was so beautiful in there! I felt so much peace in there, even though it has not yet been dedicated to the Lord.  It was such a wonderful thing to experience with not only my sweet little family, but my wonderful in-laws.  I love them all so much!

It was fun to see Lilli walk around in her cute little white shoe covers (she thought those were pretty neat).  She liked to see the pictures of Jesus.  Coleson was fascinated by the lights, and there were some absolutely gorgeous lights!  The celestial room was absolutely stunning!  It was so bright and beautiful in there.

Although it has changed and is renovated, it brought back beautiful memories.  The Ogden Temple was the place Casey and I met in person and was our first date.  Good memories!  That day was the day I knew he was the one I would marry.  I didn't have that exact thought, but I did have the thought, "You won't be dating anyone else ever again."  The Ogden Temple grounds is also where her proposed to me.  Ahhh, sweet, sweet memories! :)

Walking through the temple with my family brought such love and peace.  I love my little family, my Loock family and my Gilbert family.  What a beautiful thing the Lord has blessed us with.  What would we do without our family?  I don't like to think about it.

I have been so blessed.  I love and appreciate all of my siblings.  I have a friendship and relationship with each one that I treasure.  And my parents...I am so grateful for my parents!  They have always been there for me.  Being the youngest, I was able to really get close to my parents.  Aside from Casey, I consider them my best friends.  I am so grateful for them and the relationship I have with them.  They mean so very much to me.

My Loock family...I love them so much!  I am so grateful I was blessed to marry into such a wonderful family!  I love everyone of them.  My mom and dad -in-law are the best.  I truly couldn't ask for better in-laws.  I always hear stories of people really disliking their in-laws and their MIL...and I think, "Man, I am so glad I don't have anything bad to say about mine."  I am so blessed and grateful to my Heavenly Father for those blessings!

Family is so important to me and always has been.  Now I have my own little family.  Something that I have dreamed of all my life.  Ever since I can remember I have wanted to be a mommy.  And now that I am one, I couldn't be happier!  Love your family.  Cherish them.  Never, ever take them for granted.

Day 10: No Sugar

Today is day 10 of having no sugar.  It has been so much easier than I had expected.  Sure, I still get googly-eyes over all the yummy treats I see on Pinterest, but I am doing good! Granted, there have been no temptations at home, but that's also because I haven't bought or made any goodies. ;)

At our family reunion in Richfield (Gifford reunion) I did great! There were temptations, but I resisted.  I was proud of myself. Although I guess I did have sugar....in the jello salads.  It just wasn't yummy-goodies-that-I-crave sugar (a.k.a chocolate, cookies, any kind of baked goods, ice cream, etc). :)  I've totally got this!

I have been trying to eat less through-out the day and drink as much water as I possibly can.  So far so good.  Today I have already drank about 70+ oz. and am hoping to get a few more in before bed.  This goes without saying, although I am saying it, I am in the bathroom all. day. long.  Those who know me well are not shocked in the least. ;)

I weighed in on day one and then again on Monday (a week later) and I had lost 1.4 lbs.  However, when I went and donated plasma on Tuesday morning, their scale only put me as losing 4 oz.  Boooo!  Oh-well.  I have to remind myself that it is a slow process and to just be patient with myself.  I only allow myself to weigh myself on Mondays.  It is dangerous of me to weigh myself any more than that because then I get discouraged and down on myself. Just ask Casey.

I plan to continue strong!  I am bound and determined to lose this weight!

To Be Made Smooth

To Be Made Smooth

When you find you can’t get through
Because the journey is just too tough
Remember He has enough power
To smooth the places that are rough

When life shows its rocky terrains
Where it’s hard to make it through
The Lord can cause the rough places
To eventually be made smooth

When you suffer unbearable things
That only the Lord comprehends
Put all your trust in Him
And He can make amends

When you can’t seem to move forward
And you feel you’ve reached your end
Know that Jesus Christ will help you
With all of His love to lend

By the power of His words
All the afflicted were soothed
So too can His words cause rough places
To finally be made smooth

©Alisha Gilbert
July ‘09

Who Am I To Judge Another?

When I was a young girl,  I would say 13 or 14, my older sister and I would watch the kids in the nursery for what was then, "homemaking," for the Relief Society.  There was a particular mom whose kids were a little unruly, to say the least.  One instance sticks in my mind.  Her daughter had not been very nice to the kids in the nursery that night.  I remember telling her mom when she came in to get her that she hadn't been very nice.  The mom's response went something like this... "Oh.  Come on, let's go home." (I honestly don't remember what she said exactly, but I remember her brushing it off and not saying a word to her daughter.)  As a young girl this really bothered me.  I immediately judged her thinking, "Really woman? You're not even going to get after her?  You're not going to tell her that it was wrong?  You aren't going to even tell her to apologize?"  After that one time I sort of had a distaste for her.

Not too long after that instance, this woman became one of my young woman leaders.  "Great!" I thought.  I found out how wrong I had been about her.  She was sooo much fun!  I loved her! She was so fun to joke with and we always had a great time with her.  Lesson learned.  From a young age I learned the lesson of not judging others.  Especially until you actually know them!

This is not to say I am perfect at not judging, because I am not.  I can recall times I have made a quick judgment about someone and then I quickly am reminded that I myself am not perfect and neither is anything I do. 

To go back to my earlier experience...who is to say this woman didn't handle it when they got in the car?  Or when they got home?  Maybe she didn't want to say something in front of everyone?  Maybe she really didn't think it was important?  Maybe she was tired and really just didn't want to deal with it? No matter the reason why, I am no judge.  Yeah, it may have bothered me, but it didn't mean she was a bad mom or a bad person.

When I am in the store with my kids and Lilli is throwing her awesome little two-year-old-tantrums and everyone is staring, I immediately think, "All those mom's are judging on how I am handling the situation."  Perhaps they are, and perhaps they're not.  But I know all too often we are prone to judge people.  We tend to think if someone doesn't think like us, do things like us, believe like us, eat like us, cook like us, or sit like us, (ok, maybe the last few are a bit extreme, but you get my point), then they are doing something so very wrong. 

I know I want and need to be better at this.  I definitely have moments where I find myself being quick to judge.  There is this quote I found several years ago that really struck me.  At the time I was working at a care center doing hair and also housekeeping.  There was a woman I worked with who kind of got on my nerves.  I don't know why, there was just something about her that did.  And I remember feeling kind of annoyed and negative around her.  And then I read this quote: "Be one who nurtures and builds.  Be one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart, who looks for the best in people.  Leave people better than you found them.  If we could look into each others hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently...."  (Marvin J. Ashton)  It hit me like a ton of bricks, and I felt guilty.  I wanted to be that kind of person.  A kind of person who has an understanding and loving heart.  Someone who nurtures and builds.  Unless we actually know the person, and know their challenges, we don't know what they are facing in their life.  Why they do the things they do.

I read a really good article something about trying to understand what happened "before the scene."  (Terribly paraphrasing).  The writer talked about how we never know what happened before we see the person and the situation [we may be judging them in].  He gave an example of a woman waiting in a line for a prescription and she had a crying baby.  People in the line were making rude comments out loud about it.  The author said that we have no idea what happened before she was in line at the pharmacy.  They listed some things that could have happened before.  If these people in the line making rude comments had known, perhaps they would have been a little more compassionate.

I know I am going to resolve to be more like my Savior.  To consider "the unique challenges each of us faces."  For, "who am I to judge another when I walk imperfectly?"